Tuesday, February 15, 2011

Weirdness

I'm feeling floaty and happy. Barely 2 days ago, I was a wreck. What a strange, strange week it has been. But a beautiful week nonetheless.

The circumstances are tragic, but there is happiness to be milked from even the most dire situations. That I have learned.

Sunday, February 13, 2011

That hurt. A whole lot more than I expected it to.

I'm numb. Cold.

It all feels so devastatingly familiar, only more intense. I never thought I'd go through all this again, ever. Months down the line, lightning has struck. Again.

This is quite excruciating.

I can't think straight. Somebody please knock some sense into me.

Better yet, knock me out. I don't want to feel.

Sunday, February 6, 2011

Friday, February 4, 2011

Powerless

The fans were dead and perspiration crept tortuously on my skin. My family slumbered lifelessly on adjacent beds. I should be doing the same, but I didn’t want to. I was waiting.

A warm glow pierces the darkness, followed by a familiar whir of plastic against tiles.

I sprang in wakefulness and reached for my phone. It was her. The phone’s backlight illuminated the sheets in a tense, almost eerie manner, but I couldn’t care less. I read and reread the message under the blanketing darkness of night and beamed stupidly at myself. A frenzied keypad assault ensued. Dad mumbles groggily and I only caught two words- ‘phone’ and ‘off’.

‘Just one more message’ I whispered. Strings of alphabets raced across the screen. Five minutes and 400 characters later, I reread the wall of text; all good. ‘Message sent.’

I pocketed my phone and stared into the ceiling, still smiling moronically. I’ve not felt like this in a while but oh, did it feel good. This was high school all over again.

I checked my phone. No messages received yet. It’s okay.

More ceiling-staring ensued. I wonder if she felt the same way. Of course she does, you stupid boy. But that’s the least of your worries. Doubt and helplessness soon manifested. A thousand ‘what if’s’ swamped my mind and I found myself cussing at ‘circumstances.’ This is painful, I thought.

The phone whirred to life. Ah, bliss again.

Letters

(This post is a part of the 30 Day Letter Challenge that I've decided to take up, and the following letters are dedicated to the respective individuals)


Day 3 — Your parents

Dear mom and dad,

Sorry for giving you guys so much shit when I was younger. I know you have high hopes for me and but really, my high school years could do with a lot more freedom. I'm glad you're not subjecting bro to this, and I'm even more glad that the two of you are treating me as an adult now. I could get used to this. But you guys still rock all the same. :)

Young

Day 4 — Your sibling (or closest relative)

Dear bro,

Interesting how our relationship has evolved over the years, aye? I used to hate you so so much but now, you're like a best friend to me. I often compare my younger self to you, and quite frankly, you kicked my 14-year-old ass. Now go forth and conquer the world because you can.

Young

Day 5 — Your dreams

Dear dreams,

You are simple, you are complex. You are constant yet ever-changing. Sometimes you tease me with your reachability and sometimes I feel shadowed by your impossibility. I hope we meet one day.

Young

Tuesday, February 1, 2011

The Red Hippopotamus

Watched the Green Hornet today and it was a quack movie. Utterly bonkers mad. Even Jay Chou and his squinty eyes were unable to contain the insanity that this flick has brought forth. And it cost me Rm20 wtf. Admittedly, I guffawed my way through 2 hours of madness but still! 20 bucks! For a substanceless movie!

In other news, I just rediscovered that I absolutely suck at initating conversations with acquaintances whom I bump into by chance. Like totally suck balls. Only with acquaintances though. And only those whom I meet by chance.

Day 2

(This post is a part of the 30 Day Letter Challenge that I've decided to take up, and the following letter is dedicated to her.)

Day 2: Crush

Dear Crush,

Is that what you are? A crush? I honestly don't know the answer myself. Whether or not anything substantial materializes in the future is far beyond my control but either way, I'm glad we met. You are special.

Young